Joining Their Journey: How to Walk With Others Toward the Story of God

Adapted with attribution from I Once Was Lost: What Postmodern Skeptics Taught Us About Their Path to Jesus (Don Everts & Doug Schaupp)

In today’s world, faith rarely begins with belief. For many shaped by postmodern skepticism, the journey toward Jesus doesn’t start with doctrine, church attendance, or even spiritual curiosity. It begins somewhere much more human—relational trust.

In I Once Was Lost, Don Everts and Doug Schaupp describe the journey people often take as they move toward faith—marked by five thresholds. These aren’t rigid steps, but common movements people experience as they gradually move toward trusting in Jesus.

Understanding these thresholds can completely change how we relate to those who are exploring—or avoiding—faith.

Let’s begin with the first two.

Threshold 1: From Distrust to Trust
Before someone is open to Jesus, they are often deciding whether they can trust a Christian. That may sound simple, but it’s not.

Many carry deep skepticism:

• “Christians are judgmental.”
• “They only care about converting me.”
• “They’re not authentic.”

Until that wall comes down, spiritual conversations rarely go anywhere meaningful.

This means the first step in someone’s journey is not theological—it’s relational.

Trust is built slowly:

• Through consistency
• Through listening
• Through genuine care without agenda
  

And then, often unexpectedly, something shifts. A person who once kept their distance begins to lean in. The guard lowers. The relationship becomes safe.

That’s the first threshold.

Scripture for the Journey “Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.”  — Colossians 4:5–6 (NLT)

This kind of trust-building life—gracious, wise, and patient—is exactly what opens the first door.

Threshold 2: From Complacency to Curiosity
Here’s where many people get confused. Just because someone trusts you doesn’t mean they’re interested in Jesus. They may like you, respect you—even admire your faith—and still feel zero curiosity about spiritual things.

Why? Because their life already feels full. They’re successful. Comfortable. Content. Faith doesn’t feel necessary.   But then something changes. 

It might be:

• A life disruption
• A meaningful conversation
• A quiet internal restlessness
  

And suddenly, curiosity awakens.

Questions begin to surface:

• “Who is Jesus, really?”
• “Why does faith matter to you?”
• “Is there more to life than this?”
  

Scripture for the Journey “If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.”— Jeremiah 29:13 (NLT)

This shift is subtle—but incredibly important.

Curiosity is the doorway to spiritual exploration.

Why These First Two Thresholds Matter

• If someone hasn’t crossed the first threshold, giving them a book about Jesus might actually push them further away.
  
• If they haven’t crossed the second, trying to answer questions they aren’t asking might not help as well.

This is where many well-meaning efforts miss the mark.

Instead of asking, “How do I share the gospel?”  We might need to ask, “Where are they right now?”

So How do We Walk with Others:

1. Identify Where People Are in Your Life 

Take a few minutes this week to think about 2–3 people in your everyday world (friends, coworkers, neighbors).

Ask yourself:

• Do they trust Christians at all?
• Do they trust me?
• Are they curious about spiritual things—or completely uninterested?
  

Don’t try to change anything yet—just notice where they are.
Understanding their starting point is the first step toward loving them well.

2. Shift Your Goal From “Sharing” to “Building Trust”

If someone hasn’t crossed the first threshold, your goal isn’t to explain Jesus—it’s to earn trust.

 Try this:

• Be present without an agenda
• Ask questions about their life and actually listen
• Show consistency over time
  

A simple mindset shift: “What would it look like for me to be someone they feel safe with?”

Trust opens doors that arguments never will.

3. Practice Curiosity Before Creating Curiosity

If someone isn’t spiritually curious yet, resist the urge to “spark” it too quickly.

Instead:

• Be curious about them first
• Ask thoughtful, non-threatening questions
• Pay attention to what matters in their world
  

Often, spiritual curiosity grows out of relational curiosity. You don’t have to force the conversation—just create space where meaningful conversations can happen.

Another Word from Jesus: “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” — John 13:35 (NLT)

Before people believe what we say, they often watch how we love. These steps may feel small, but they’re not insignificant. Most people don’t move toward faith because of a single conversation—they move because someone walked with them, patiently, over time.

And that journey often begins with something simple: Trust.

In Part 2, we’ll explore what happens as curiosity deepens and hearts begin to open to change.

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