Rediscovering the Art of Neighboring in Apartment Communities and Neighborhoods
The idea behind this article is inspired by Dave Runyon and Jay Pathak, authors of The Art of Neighboring—a book we highly recommend. In it, they share some eye-opening statistics:
- Fewer than 10% of people who identify as Christians can name the first and last names of their eight closest neighbors.
- Fewer than 3% can name those neighbors and share something about them beyond what is visible from the outside.
- Less than 1% can name their neighbors and speak to something deeper, such as their greatest hopes or fears.
Those numbers are hard to overlook. They point to a simple reality: most of us don’t truly know the people who live closest to us.
Yet Jesus gave a clear and compelling command: “The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” — Mark 12:31 (NLT)
This command isn’t theoretical. It’s practical. It starts with knowing someone—and knowing begins with conversation.
Neighboring Right Where You Are
Whether you live in a single-family home, a townhome, or an apartment community, the calling remains the same.
In traditional neighborhoods, neighbors live next door, across the street, or behind us. We see them mowing their lawns, checking the mail, or pulling into their driveways.
In apartment communities, neighbors may live across the hall, above or below us, or in the building next door. We cross paths in hallways, elevators, parking lots, courtyards, and mailrooms.
In both environments, it’s entirely possible to live only a few feet apart and remain strangers. Closeness does not automatically create connection. Intentionality does.
Starting with Conversation and Coffee
Neighboring doesn’t require a complex plan. It can start with something simple—like inviting someone to share a cup of coffee and hear their story.
- In a neighborhood, that might look like sitting on your front porch, walking across the street with two cups in hand, or hosting a relaxed gathering in your yard.
- In an apartment setting, it could mean meeting in the clubhouse, sitting in the courtyard, walking to a nearby coffee shop, or inviting someone into your living room for a short visit.
The setting may vary, but the purpose stays the same—to know and love the people God has placed around us.
Moving Beyond the Surface
Most of us know surface details about our neighbors—the car they drive, their work schedule, their holiday decorations. But loving our neighbor calls us deeper than observation.
It begins with simple questions:
- How long have you lived here?
- What brought you to this area?
- What do you enjoy doing in your free time?
Over time, conversations can naturally grow deeper:
- What has been challenging for you lately?
- What are you hoping for in this season of life?
Scripture reminds us:
“Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.”
— Colossians 4:5–6 (NLT)
A Simple Challenge
Prayerfully consider what might change in our neighborhoods and apartment communities if followers of Jesus became known for truly knowing the people who live closest to them.
Take a moment to think about the eight nearest homes or doors around you.
- Can you name the people who live there?
- Do you know their stories?
If the answer is no, this isn’t about guilt—it’s about opportunity. It’s an invitation to obedience.
This week, consider new rhythms:
- Pray and ask God to create opportunities for conversations.
- Be present and unhurried when you cross paths with your neighbors.
- Take the initiative to introduce yourself to someone you don’t yet know.
- Invite one person to coffee or a brief visit this week.
Loving our neighbor begins with knowing our neighbor. And often, knowing starts with something simple—conversation and coffee.
Gary Morgan (Pastor at Story Church – Nashville, TN)
Church Planting Strategist
Nashville Baptist Association