Author: Gary Morgan

Reflections Inspired by I Once Was Lost: What Postmodern Skeptics Taught Us About Their Path to Jesus (Don Everts & Doug Schaupp)

Throughout this series, we’ve explored the journey people often take as they move toward faith—learning to trust, becoming curious, opening their lives to change, and ultimately facing the invitation to surrender to Jesus. One of the clearest lessons from these thresholds is that people rarely move in straight lines or at the same pace. Every person carries different questions, fears, experiences, and hesitations along the way. 

And that reality reveals something deeply important about leadership: effective spiritual leadership requires discernment.

Leadership is often associated with vision, strategy, influence, and direction. But one of the most overlooked qualities of spiritual leadership is discernment—the ability to recognize where people are, understand what God may be doing in their lives, and respond with wisdom, patience, and grace.

In many ways, discernment is what allows leaders not simply to move people forward, but to walk faithfully with them where they are.

Throughout I Once Was Lost, Don Everts and Doug Schaupp describe the journey people often take toward faith through a series of thresholds: moving from distrust to trust, from curiosity to openness, and ultimately toward surrender to Jesus. While the book focuses on spiritual formation and evangelism, it also offers profound insight into leadership itself.

Because good leaders do more than communicate truth. They learn to discern timing, posture, readiness, and need.

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time…”
— Ephesians 5:15–16 (NLT)

Discernment begins with seeing people clearly. One of the central lessons of the series is this: not everyone is in the same place on the journey.

Some people are skeptical. Some are curious. Some are quietly wrestling with deeper questions. Others are closer to faith than anyone realizes.

Discernment allows leaders to recognize those differences instead of treating everyone the same.

Too often, leaders default to assumption:

• Assuming people are ready when they are not
• Assuming resistance means rejection
• Assuming information alone produces transformation

But discernment slows us down enough to ask a better question:

“Where are they right now?”

That question changes how we lead.

When you look at the ministry of Jesus, He rarely approached people the same way twice. He challenged some directly, invited others gently, asked questions before giving answers, listened before speaking, and discerned what was happening beneath the surface.

Jesus understood that leadership is not merely about delivering truth—it is about shepherding people wisely toward it.

That requires discernment.

One of the dangers in leadership is the temptation to push people faster than they are ready to move.

Without discernment:

• Vision becomes pressure
• Passion becomes force
• Urgency becomes frustration

But discernment helps leaders recognize that transformation is often slower and more mysterious than we would prefer.People rarely change because they were cornered into it. More often, change happens through trust, patience,  honest conversations, prayer, and the quiet work of God over time.

• Discernment reminds us that leadership is not control. It is stewardship.
• Leaders who discern well are usually leaders who listen well—not just to words, but to fears, hesitations, questions, motivations, and timing.
• Discernment grows when leaders resist the urge to immediately fix, answer, or direct every situation.

Sometimes the most discerning thing a leader can do is pause long enough to understand what is really happening.

“Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.”
— Colossians 4:5–6 (NLT)

Notice the language: wisely, graciously, the right response. Discernment is not just knowing truth—it is knowing how to respond lovingly and wisely in the moment.

The threshold framework reminds us that people move at different speeds.

Some take quick steps. Others linger in questions for years. Some resist before surrendering. Others appear close but are still hesitant.

Discernment allows leaders to walk patiently without becoming cynical or controlling.

It shifts leadership from:

• Managing outcomes → to cultivating presence
• Forcing movement → to recognizing readiness
• Demanding responses → to faithfully walking alongside others

This is especially important in spiritual leadership, where only God can ultimately change a heart.

Discernment also humbles leaders because it reminds us:

• We cannot force transformation
• We cannot predict timing
• We cannot manufacture surrender

We can teach. We can guide. We can pray. We can love faithfully. But God is the one who works within people. That realization frees leaders from carrying burdens they were never meant to carry.

At its best, discernment transforms leadership from performance into shepherding. A discerning leader pays attention, walks patiently, speaks truth wisely, loves consistently, and trusts God with the deeper work.

This kind of leadership reflects the heart of Jesus—present, wise, and faithful.

Leadership is not just about helping people get somewhere. It is about recognizing where they are, discerning what they need, and walking with them wisely toward what God may be doing in their lives.

And perhaps that is one of the deepest callings of leadership:

Not simply to lead people forward, but to walk beside them with grace, wisdom, and discernment along the way.

---

The Final Step in the Journey of Faith—and What It Means for Us

Adapted with attribution from I Once Was Lost: What Postmodern Skeptics Taught Us About Their Path to Jesus (Don Everts & Doug Schaupp)

At some point in every journey, the question shifts. It’s no longer just about curiosity—it’s about direction.

Like Alice standing at a crossroads: “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
— Alice in Wonderland

By the time someone reaches this point, they’ve learned to trust, asked honest questions, and begun to open their lives. But now a deeper question emerges: Where is this leading?

Because every journey eventually asks for a response.

And in the journey toward faith, there comes a moment when curiosity gives way to decision—when the path forward is no longer just something to consider, but something to choose.

After trust is built, curiosity awakened, and hearts opened… there is still one final step.

And it is the most significant step in the journey.

Threshold 5: Entering the Kingdom

This is the moment of decision—the point where a person is invited to repent, believe, and surrender their life to Jesus. All the previous thresholds prepare the way for this—but they don’t guarantee it.

Some people travel a long way along this journey:

• They trust deeply
• They ask meaningful questions
• They pursue answers sincerely

And still, they stop short of this final step.  Why?

For some, it’s intellectual barriers.
For others, it’s fear of what change might cost.
For others, it’s the desire for a level of certainty that faith doesn’t always provide.

And yet, when this threshold is crossed, it is both deeply personal and profoundly mysterious.

Scripture reminds us that this step is both simple and profound:

“If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” — Romans 10:9 (NLT)

Rethinking “Lostness”

One of the most helpful insights from Everts and Schaupp is how people experience being “lost.”

From our perspective, someone may clearly be far from God. But from their perspective, it often feels very different.

• Some don’t even realize they’re lost.
• Some know—but believe they can find their own way.
• Some recognize their need and begin looking for help.

This matters. Because how someone experiences their situation shapes how they respond to faith. What we see as obvious may feel confusing—or even unnecessary—to them.

How We Walk With Others

This framework invites us to ask a better question: “Where are they on the journey?”

And that question changes how we respond.

• If they don’t trust Christians → build relationship
• If they aren’t curious → don’t force answers
• If they’re closed to change → be patient
• If they’re ready to move forward → help them take that step with clarity and care

This shifts us from pressure to presence. We stop trying to control outcomes and start participating in what God is already doing.

Entering the Mystery

Faith journeys are not formulas. We cannot force someone across a threshold, predict when change will happen, or guarantee outcomes.

But we can:

• Love consistently
• Listen deeply
• Pray faithfully
• Walk alongside others with patience

“The seed that fell on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. But since they don’t have deep roots, they don’t last long…” — Mark 4:16–17 (NLT)

Jesus reminds us that not every seed takes root—and that’s not failure. It’s part of the mystery of how God works in people’s lives.

A Final Thought

The journey to faith is not a straight line—it’s a story. And when we begin to see people not as projects, but as travelers on a path, everything changes.

We become:

• Less anxious
• More attentive
• More compassionate

And in the process, we may discover something unexpected: We’re not just helping others find their way— we are being shaped along the way as well.

Across these thresholds—from trust to curiosity, from openness to change, and ultimately to surrender—we are reminded that faith is both a journey and an invitation. People rarely arrive all at once; they move, often slowly and sometimes uncertainly, toward Jesus. And along the way, they don’t need us to rush them—they need us to walk with them. To listen well. To love patiently. To recognize where they are and trust that God is already at work.

As we join their journey, we begin to see that this isn’t just about helping others find faith—it’s about becoming the kind of people who reflect the heart of Jesus along the way.

“Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” — Colossians 4:5–6 (NLT)

---

Adapted with attribution from I Once Was Lost: What Postmodern Skeptics Taught Us About Their Path to Jesus (Don Everts & Doug Schaupp)

In Top Gun: Maverick, you can see it in Rooster’s eyes.

He’s in the cockpit, the pressure building, the mission in front of him—and Maverick is right there, calling him forward. He’s listened. He’s followed. He respects him. But this moment is different. Trusting Maverick now would mean more than just flying formation—it would mean letting go of control, facing the past, and stepping into something that could change him.

And so, he hesitates. It’s not that he isn’t interested. It’s that he isn’t ready.

And that moment—when interest meets hesitation—is where so many people find themselves on the journey toward faith.

Part 2: When Faith Becomes Personal

As Everts and Schaupp observe, many people are interested in Jesus—but not yet ready for their lives to change.

This simple observation captures one of the most important—and most difficult—moments in the journey toward faith. Curiosity is there—but when it begins to feel personal, something often holds people back. Faith is no longer just an idea to explore; it becomes an invitation to change.

In Part 1, we explored how people often move from distrust to trust, and from complacency to curiosity. But curiosity, while significant, is still a safe place to be.

At this stage, someone can:

• Ask questions
• Explore ideas
• Engage in conversations about Jesus

…all without it requiring anything of them personally. But eventually, something begins to shift. Faith starts to feel less like a conversation… and more like an invitation.

Threshold 3: From Closed to Open to Change

This is often the hardest step in the journey. A person may trust Christians and be genuinely curious about Jesus—but still have one clear boundary:

“My life is off limits.”

They are open to ideas, but not yet open to transformation. Why?  Because real change is costly.

It touches:

• Identity
• Relationships
• Habits
• Control

Crossing this threshold means becoming open to the possibility that following Jesus might actually change something in their life.

The question shifts from: “Is this true?” to “What might this mean for me?” And that’s where things become deeply personal.

Scripture for the Journey

“Anyone who wants to be my disciple must give up their own way, take up their cross daily, and follow me.”  — Luke 9:23 (NLT)

Jesus is honest about the cost—but He always invites, never forces.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” — Psalm 139:23–24 (NLT)

This is the posture that begins to emerge—an openness to let God speak not just to beliefs, but to real life. This threshold is rarely crossed through pressure.

More often, it happens through:

• Time
• Trust
• Honest reflection
• And the quiet, persistent work of God

So, How We Walk With Others:

1. Make Space for Honest Conversations

At this stage, people don’t need pressure—they need space.  You can help by:

• Asking thoughtful, open-ended questions
• Letting them process without rushing to respond
• Creating a safe place for real thoughts and doubts

Sometimes the most helpful question is: “What do you think this might mean for your life?”

2. Share Your Story With Honesty

When faith becomes personal, stories often matter more than explanations. Share:

• How Jesus has shaped your life
• Areas where you’re still growing
• Real struggles—not just polished answers

This helps them see that following Jesus isn’t about having it all together—it’s about being transformed over time.

3. Walk Patiently Through the Tension

This stage often feels like a tug-of-war. They may feel:

• Drawn in, yet hesitant
• Curious, yet resistant
• Open, yet unsure

That’s normal.

Your role isn’t to resolve the tension—it’s to stay present in it. Be steady. Be patient. Keep showing up. God is often doing deeper work than we can see.

A Final Thought

This part of the journey can feel slow—and even uncertain.  But it is sacred ground. Because this is where faith begins to move from curiosity…to conviction.

Looking Ahead: In Part 3, we’ll explore what happens when someone begins to lean in more intentionally—and how we can walk with them as they move toward trusting Jesus.

---

Adapted with attribution from I Once Was Lost: What Postmodern Skeptics Taught Us About Their Path to Jesus (Don Everts & Doug Schaupp)

In today’s world, faith rarely begins with belief. For many shaped by postmodern skepticism, the journey toward Jesus doesn’t start with doctrine, church attendance, or even spiritual curiosity. It begins somewhere much more human—relational trust.

In I Once Was Lost, Don Everts and Doug Schaupp describe the journey people often take as they move toward faith—marked by five thresholds. These aren’t rigid steps, but common movements people experience as they gradually move toward trusting in Jesus.

Understanding these thresholds can completely change how we relate to those who are exploring—or avoiding—faith.

Let’s begin with the first two.

Threshold 1: From Distrust to Trust
Before someone is open to Jesus, they are often deciding whether they can trust a Christian. That may sound simple, but it’s not.

Many carry deep skepticism:

• “Christians are judgmental.”
• “They only care about converting me.”
• “They’re not authentic.”

Until that wall comes down, spiritual conversations rarely go anywhere meaningful.

This means the first step in someone’s journey is not theological—it’s relational.

Trust is built slowly:

• Through consistency
• Through listening
• Through genuine care without agenda
  

And then, often unexpectedly, something shifts. A person who once kept their distance begins to lean in. The guard lowers. The relationship becomes safe.

That’s the first threshold.

Scripture for the Journey “Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.”  — Colossians 4:5–6 (NLT)

This kind of trust-building life—gracious, wise, and patient—is exactly what opens the first door.

Threshold 2: From Complacency to Curiosity
Here’s where many people get confused. Just because someone trusts you doesn’t mean they’re interested in Jesus. They may like you, respect you—even admire your faith—and still feel zero curiosity about spiritual things.

Why? Because their life already feels full. They’re successful. Comfortable. Content. Faith doesn’t feel necessary.   But then something changes. 

It might be:

• A life disruption
• A meaningful conversation
• A quiet internal restlessness
  

And suddenly, curiosity awakens.

Questions begin to surface:

• “Who is Jesus, really?”
• “Why does faith matter to you?”
• “Is there more to life than this?”
  

Scripture for the Journey “If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.”— Jeremiah 29:13 (NLT)

This shift is subtle—but incredibly important.

Curiosity is the doorway to spiritual exploration.

Why These First Two Thresholds Matter

• If someone hasn’t crossed the first threshold, giving them a book about Jesus might actually push them further away.
  
• If they haven’t crossed the second, trying to answer questions they aren’t asking might not help as well.

This is where many well-meaning efforts miss the mark.

Instead of asking, “How do I share the gospel?”  We might need to ask, “Where are they right now?”

So How do We Walk with Others:

1. Identify Where People Are in Your Life 

Take a few minutes this week to think about 2–3 people in your everyday world (friends, coworkers, neighbors).

Ask yourself:

• Do they trust Christians at all?
• Do they trust me?
• Are they curious about spiritual things—or completely uninterested?
  

Don’t try to change anything yet—just notice where they are.
Understanding their starting point is the first step toward loving them well.

2. Shift Your Goal From “Sharing” to “Building Trust”

If someone hasn’t crossed the first threshold, your goal isn’t to explain Jesus—it’s to earn trust.

 Try this:

• Be present without an agenda
• Ask questions about their life and actually listen
• Show consistency over time
  

A simple mindset shift: “What would it look like for me to be someone they feel safe with?”

Trust opens doors that arguments never will.

3. Practice Curiosity Before Creating Curiosity

If someone isn’t spiritually curious yet, resist the urge to “spark” it too quickly.

Instead:

• Be curious about them first
• Ask thoughtful, non-threatening questions
• Pay attention to what matters in their world
  

Often, spiritual curiosity grows out of relational curiosity. You don’t have to force the conversation—just create space where meaningful conversations can happen.

Another Word from Jesus: “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” — John 13:35 (NLT)

Before people believe what we say, they often watch how we love. These steps may feel small, but they’re not insignificant. Most people don’t move toward faith because of a single conversation—they move because someone walked with them, patiently, over time.

And that journey often begins with something simple: Trust.

In Part 2, we’ll explore what happens as curiosity deepens and hearts begin to open to change.

---

Joining God’s mission through simple, reproducible communities

Church Planting is often imagined as launching a new congregation with a building, programs, and a weekly Sunday service. While those expressions can be fruitful, many leaders are rediscovering what could be called the Smaller Way—simple, relational communities of believers that gather in homes, neighborhoods, workplaces, and everyday spaces. These smaller expressions of church do not replace larger congregations; rather, they expand the reach of the gospel and make disciples in places traditional models sometimes struggle to reach.

The pattern of the Smaller Way is deeply biblical. The early church regularly gathered in homes and shared life together in small communities of faith. Scripture describes this rhythm clearly:

“They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity.”
— Acts 2:46 (NLT)

The early believers gathered publicly and also in smaller settings where discipleship, prayer, and fellowship happened naturally. Church Planting through the Smaller Way follows this same rhythm—large gatherings when possible, but also many smaller communities living out the mission of Jesus in daily life.

Jesus Himself modeled this approach. Rather than building a large institution, He invested deeply in a small group of disciples and sent them out to continue the mission of God. As Jesus said:

“The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.”
— Luke 10:2 (NLT)

The Smaller Way helps answer this call by empowering more believers to become workers in God’s harvest. When the church is simple and relational, more people can participate in the mission rather than simply observing it.

Missiologist Brad Brisco often emphasizes that church planters must think beyond starting a weekly service. As he explains, “We need to help church planters think less like pastors starting a Sunday service and more like missionaries engaging a unique context.” This missionary mindset naturally leads toward smaller, flexible communities that can form wherever people live and work.

Similarly, church planter and author Caesar Kalinowski has pointed out that many believers long for something deeper than attending a weekly event. He notes that many Christians are trying to move their faith “from just a weekly Sunday event to a daily, vibrant experience in the normal rhythms of everyday life.” The Smaller Way creates space for that kind of daily discipleship and shared life.

Kalinowski also reflects on the challenge of a church culture where only a few people appear to do the ministry while others watch. He once wondered whether Jesus intended “a few chosen people in a church service to ‘do’ the ministry while pretty much everyone else just sat there.” The SmallerWay addresses this by inviting every believer into active participation in the mission of God.

Ultimately, Church Planting through the Smaller Way reminds us that the strength of the church is not found in buildings or programs but in disciples living out the gospel together. The early church continued to grow because the message of Jesus spread through everyday gatherings and relationships:

“And every day, in the Temple and from house to house, they continued to teach and preach this message: ‘Jesus is the Messiah.’”
— Acts 5:42 (NLT)

When Church Planting embraces the Smaller Way, the church becomes both gathered and scattered, both visible and embedded in everyday life. Small communities multiply, disciples grow, and the mission of Jesus spreads naturally through neighborhoods, families, and friendships.

The Smaller Way is not about making the church smaller—it is about making the mission closer, simpler, and more reproducible so that the gospel can reach every place and every people.

---

Rediscovering the Art of Neighboring in Apartment Communities and Neighborhoods

The idea behind this article is inspired by Dave Runyon and Jay Pathak, authors of The Art of Neighboring—a book we highly recommend. In it, they share some eye-opening statistics:

• Fewer than 10% of people who identify as Christians can name the first and last names of their eight closest neighbors.
• Fewer than 3% can name those neighbors and share something about them beyond what is visible from the outside.
• Less than 1% can name their neighbors and speak to something deeper, such as their greatest hopes or fears.

Those numbers are hard to overlook. They point to a simple reality: most of us don’t truly know the people who live closest to us.

Yet Jesus gave a clear and compelling command: “The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” — Mark 12:31 (NLT)

This command isn’t theoretical. It’s practical. It starts with knowing someone—and knowing begins with conversation.

Neighboring Right Where You Are

Whether you live in a single-family home, a townhome, or an apartment community, the calling remains the same.

In traditional neighborhoods, neighbors live next door, across the street, or behind us. We see them mowing their lawns, checking the mail, or pulling into their driveways.

In apartment communities, neighbors may live across the hall, above or below us, or in the building next door. We cross paths in hallways, elevators, parking lots, courtyards, and mailrooms.

In both environments, it’s entirely possible to live only a few feet apart and remain strangers. Closeness does not automatically create connection. Intentionality does.

Starting with Conversation and Coffee

Neighboring doesn’t require a complex plan. It can start with something simple—like inviting someone to share a cup of coffee and hear their story.

• In a neighborhood, that might look like sitting on your front porch, walking across the street with two cups in hand, or hosting a relaxed gathering in your yard.
• In an apartment setting, it could mean meeting in the clubhouse, sitting in the courtyard, walking to a nearby coffee shop, or inviting someone into your living room for a short visit.

The setting may vary, but the purpose stays the same—to know and love the people God has placed around us.

Moving Beyond the Surface

Most of us know surface details about our neighbors—the car they drive, their work schedule, their holiday decorations. But loving our neighbor calls us deeper than observation.

It begins with simple questions:

• How long have you lived here?
• What brought you to this area?
• What do you enjoy doing in your free time?

Over time, conversations can naturally grow deeper:

• What has been challenging for you lately?
• What are you hoping for in this season of life?

Scripture reminds us:

“Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.”
— Colossians 4:5–6 (NLT)

A Simple Challenge

Prayerfully consider what might change in our neighborhoods and apartment communities if followers of Jesus became known for truly knowing the people who live closest to them.

Take a moment to think about the eight nearest homes or doors around you.

• Can you name the people who live there?
• Do you know their stories?

If the answer is no, this isn’t about guilt—it’s about opportunity. It’s an invitation to obedience.

This week, consider new rhythms:

• Pray and ask God to create opportunities for conversations.
• Be present and unhurried when you cross paths with your neighbors.
• Take the initiative to introduce yourself to someone you don’t yet know.
• Invite one person to coffee or a brief visit this week.
  

Loving our neighbor begins with knowing our neighbor. And often, knowing starts with something simple—conversation and coffee.

---